How Sensual Research Dates Changed my Life!

At Being Socials, one of the most frequently asked questions is “How did you and Trevor get together? The short answer is, he was seeing a couple of my friends, and I was dating one of his. Sensing a kindred spirit (read Intellectual Sex Geek/Sensual Athlete) I invited him to become sensual research partners with me. I told him I had a couple of goals, 1) to expand my orgasmic capacity, and 2) to connect to God through sex. I explained that it did not require us being in a romantic relationship. Brave soul, he immediately agreed, and I was in the giver role that first time. The next time, I began training him how to “DO” me. And the rest, as they say, is history. My life and my business have become radically transformed from that one invitation. Several dates later we became co-teachers and coaching partners, then Fetlife official as “in an open relationship.”  (and we still have research dates, more on that later).

Where Did I Get This Cockamamie Idea?

I first heard of sensual research dates when I attended a weekend workshop called Basic Sensuality, taught by Jack, Ilana and Kassy of Lafayette Morehouse. They said that their founder, Victor Baranco, PhD. had conducted rigorous research in order to help his wife who could not orgasm. He discovered that the greatest sensual pleasure was available “when both people’s attention was on one person’s crotch.” They had been training themselves and others for years to experience ever-expanding orgasm (measured by genital contractions and other physiological cues) in this way since 1968.

During these dates, one person is giver and one is receiver, and both of you are focused on the receiver’s pleasure. When Jack demonstrated the Sensual Research (otherwise known as a Do Date) on a plastic model of a vulva, there wasn’t a dry seat in the place. Every woman was spellbound. Similarly when Judy demonstrated on a plastic phallus.

That was in 1996. I began having do dates with my then-husband, and after we separated, with other members of the community.

What Do I Get From Having Sensual Research Dates?

Sensual research dates have created a lot of transformation in me since then, which I will go into in Part II. What is most important to know is that I had hope return from that pivotal first experience. After spending years chasing orgasm through vaginal penetration and always feeling like something was missing, I learned it was possible to receive pleasure from another in a way that had been absent my entire life. The dates that have followed over the years have made me a happier and more fulfilled person. The communication techniques employed during sensual research dates have become the cornerstone of how I relate. As I opened to my own passion, I decided to make a career out of helping others to do the same.

Are you intrigued? Part II – Why have Sensual Research Dates here.

Sensual Research is taught during my day-long pillowtalk class. Learn more about that, and ask me how to bring it to your city.

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