Woman Actually Want Sex
We really can’t deny it any longer. Women are interested in sex. Take a look at these statistics on romance novel readerships (courtesy of Romance Writers of America):
- Romance fiction generated $1.438 billion in sales in 2012.
- Romance was the top-performing category on the best-seller lists in 2012 (across the NYT, USA Today, and PW best-seller lists).
- Romance fiction sales are estimated at $1.350 billion for 2013.
- 74.8 million people read at least one romance novel in 2008. (source: RWA Reader Survey)
Romance Novels Are Dripping with Sex
Oh, you say, but these are romance novels. They are about finding love, and catching the hunky prince/ceo/pirate. Obviously, you haven’t read one. The pages are oozing with graphic sex. Always the land of heaving bosoms and creamy thighs, most of today’s romance novels feature phrases like “The secrets of her femininity lay bare in front of him, the sweet scent of her arousal filled his head. He rubbed one finger down the center of her, circling the exposed bead, then plunging into her glistening moistness.”* Yes, and Fifty Shades of Grey has been on The New York Times Best Sellers list for over 100 straight weeks. (Well, maybe not so straight, er, consecutive).
But Why Aren’t Woman Experiencing Orgasms?
Articles about how to have better sex are in every issue of every woman’s magazines. The amount of information out there is staggering. And yet surveys have discovered that somewhere between 33% and 50% of women are still reporting that they never have orgasm, or are dissatisfied with how frequently they come. The problem is not a lack of information, but difficulties in implementation. Trying something new is challenging. We can’t just learn a new technique and put it into action. We have no problem hiring a personal trainer to teach us how to exercise, a financial counselor to clean up our money issues. But talking about sex can be scary. It wasn’t appropriate dinner conversation in most people’s homes. We feel vulnerable admitting to loneliness, to appetites we’re not sure how to express. We’re worried that the reason we don’t feel anything in bed is because there really is something WRONG with us. The old cliches about some girls you marry and some you sleep with are still lingering, and so we think that nice girls don’t enjoy sex. We stay silent, and suffer.
How My Coaching Has Helped
The women who work with me were shy too, at first. But they were driven by something more potent than their fear or embarrassment. They knew there had to be more fulfillment possible. hey were longing to feel good about their bodies and enjoy what other people seemed to be having so much fun with. You CAN talk about sex, with someone who is a good listener. Someone who doesn’t judge. Someone who has already taken that journey from despair and dissatisfaction to excitement and gratification. I did it myself, and being a fully realized sexual being has actually made me a happier, nicer person. And I’m still growing and learning from my mentors. I’ve watched my clients blossom as they begin to talk about what they desire, first to me, and then to their partners. Let’s get into the conversation.
*from His Royal Pleasure, by Leanne Banks, published by Harlequin Press 2012