I feel like I’ve written about this before , but it’s bothering me again! My teen-aged daughters watch a TV show called Bad Girls Club. I can barely stand to be in the same room with this show. It highlights all the worst stereotypes of women, competing over men, attention and space in the bathroom. They are constantly scheming with each other to get rid of whomever is the odd girl out that week, usually the one who is the most successful at getting guys when they go to the local bar and get loaded. I’ve seen petri dishes with more depth than these women. The thing is, this show portrays extremes of what goes on daily in the lives of women. Somehow, we’ve gotten the message that there are not enough good men, or good jobs, or enough love available for all of us. Instead of supporting each other to achieve our goals, our scarcity causes us to isolate, or even undermine each other. I know a lot of women who say they don’t trust women, or that they have never felt comfortable with other females. Somehow, when guys compete, it seems friendly. They say “may the best man win” and they mean it. No hard feelings are left after the battle. Women take loss personally. We fight dirty, and we hold grudges. Not you? Well, I confess that I have. Like the women on Bad Girls Club, competing makes us look ugly, petty, and out of control. You may be the one who wins the prize, but at what cost? Who is there to celebrate with?
I always appreciated the company of women, because I grew up playing in a softball league. I had the experience of women’s teamwork. My mother was close to her sister, and had many close girlfriends. In college, I performed in an all-female comedy troupe. Some of the happiest years of my life were spent living in a co-ed communal household that had seven or eight adult women in it. The whole community had the belief that the source of our prosperity was in the accomplishment of the women’s goals.
We threw our considerable power into encouraging each other to want more, and to have more. It was a real eye-opener to me to see the women I lived with give voice to their desires, and feel entitled to ask for what they wanted. One woman had gotten her husband, a committed carnivore,to give up meat. Another woman had a fiancee devoted to her, who drove her everywhere. In this environment, I learned to ask for what I wanted. I began to feel like I deserved to have. I found self-esteem and self-love, appreciation for the beauty of my body, exactly as it was. And my life just kept getting better, and more full, more rich. I think it’s going to take commitment to break the cycle of mean girls. We have to see that what happens for one of us, can happen for all of us. When we help another woman get what she wants, it helps us get closer to what we want. We can become golden mirrors reflecting back to each other what’s best in us. And we can only learn to trust other women if we are willing to try it out.
I want you to join our community of women, committed to supporting each other in leading pleasurable, lit-up lives. You have the chance this weekend to delve deeply into your desires, and hear a resounding yes! from your sisters. I have five spots left in The Desire Course. Is one of them yours? Register today and find your passion, your vision and your voice. The only thing you have to lose is loneliness and dissatisfaction!