Sex as You Age
There has long been a prejudice in the media that young is hotter. Young bodies, and youthful faces grace all our advertising. The truth is, hot is a matter of opinion. Sex at every age has it’s advantages. As Woody Allen once said, “I never met an orgasm I didn’t like.”
The Roaring Twenties
This is the time when you usually have gravity, stamina and a lack of physical encumbrances on your side. Your teenaged awkwardness has subsided. You don’t have kids yet, or a mortgage to worry about. Unfortunately, you are also still learning about how to meet the opposite sex, and how to communicate. Men in their twenties are driven by LET’S GET IT ON testosterone, while women of that age group are more motivated by vasopressin,”the cuddle hormone.”
Sex Gets Better in Your Thirties
Trevor was recently quoted in a fun online article about why sex is better in your thirties than in your twenties. He mentioned that by your thirties, you have some skills and signature moves. You also have a better sense of what you like and you don’t, and hopefully, the voice to ask for what you want. Many people begin to settle into committed relationships in their thirties, and while parenting takes it’s toll, there is also something hot about making love to a person you know well. Read the whole article here.
Fluctuating Forties
For women, the forties can be marked by wildly fluctuating sexual desire. Hormone changes can leave us angry, but also highly aroused. For men, there is increased patience, and sexual confidence. By your forties, many people care less about what the neighbors think. At this stage, both sexes start thinking, I’m halfway through my life, I better go for what I want. It can be a time to branch out sexually and try new things. I found myself way more free beginning in my forties, and also more confident in my appearance. Since I no longer had any chance of fitting the standard of magazine beauty, I embraced the beauty of my uniqueness. Always thought about trying kink, or gender bending? Why not go for it now?
Fabulous Fifties
I LOVE being in my fifties! I’m having the best sex ever, because I am confident in who I am. I know what I like and I know how to ask for it. I don’t suffer bad relationships just to have a guy around. I have a full life of friends, work and hobbies. Women in their fifties are actually more hormonally compatible with men in their twenties, because we both have a surge of testosterone. Men in their fifties are starting to lose some of their erectile strength and semen production. Your fifties is a great time to embrace tantra, and orgasm without ejaculation. Men in their fifties are more patient, usually have some sense of how to talk to women, and are less driven by their own need to orgasm.
Sultry Sixties
Sex in your sixties can be hotter than ever as you slow it down. In this stage of life, kids are usually out of the house, and you may not work outside the home anymore. There is all the time in the work for flirting, and sensuality, and all day sessions in bed. Try listening to my podcast the Ask Me Anything Love and Sex Show episode on Sexy After Sixty for some ideas on how to build anticipation to make sex hotter.
Sensual Seventies and Exciting Eighties
While I can’t report actual personal experience, I know plenty of sexy people in their seventies and beyond. What worked in your sixties still works. Lots of patience, and lube means sex can still be hot and fun. My mentor Vic Baranco once said, “Sex is the recreational sport of the elderly.” for one thing, you can do it lying down. You now have all the time in the world to experiment and explore. Age is only a number. And as long as you are willing to work within the limitations of your body, you can still ball, and have a ball. Pillows and sex furniture that help you stay in comfortable positions can be a big bonus. My friend Topaz regularly dates men half her age, and is my role model for living life with gusto. The older you get, I think the more willing you are to be turned on by life, not just genitals.
Sex Can Be Great At Any Age . . .
If you are willing to embrace yourself and your desires. At every stage of life, I say, do what makes your panties wet!
This explains so much! As a 50 something man, I found myself reflecting on my sexuality and partners over the years and connecting dots I had wondered about but never understood. I often note that a lot of men date (or attempt to date) women of the same age (usually in their 20s) throughout their lives. I have done so myself, only I have dated (and preferred to date) women in their 50s for the last 30 years!
Thank you for that reflection. I observe that most people are creating their sexuality from judgment. They decide with their mind WHO is attractive, based on prejudices. How much does our society sell us that young is the most attractive state? I wouldn’t be 21 again. I had no idea who I was. I am much juicier at 58.
Discovered the allure of the woman in her 50s long ago. I couldn’t believe how much better I connected in every possible way. Communication was easy, and the intimacy was off-the-charts! The only downside was “perception”. I struggled with this in my 20s, but as I continued to have similar relationships, I stopped apologizing to friends and family for my choices.