The other night, my fourteen-year old daughter was trying on outfits for New Year’s Eve. She is quite the fashionista, and it reminded me of a moment that I think comes in every woman’s life. The day when you realize that you are in a new stage of how you are viewed by others. It was early 2007, and my daughters and I were showing my fiance the shoes we had bought to wear at my upcoming wedding. My older daughter who was fourteen at the time pulled out her rhinestone studded stilettos, and his eyes lit up, “Wow, snazzy,” he said. I then took out my rather lower, dressy but obviously comfortable, shoes. “They’re nice,” was the response. At first, I felt frumpy, and unattractive. At that moment I realized that it was time to pass on the torch. I was no longer “the hot chick.” That title belonged to the next generation. We all come to a time when we recognize that the mini skirt that used to look sexy now looks ridiculous. In that moment, I decided to embrace the sexiness that comes from my new persona as a woman of seasoning, wisdom and experience.
I eventually returned those shoes for others that were still comfortable, but made me feel infinitely sexier. My skirts are longer than they were, but my necklines even more plunging. (I was a late bloomer in the cleavage department and I love my boobs!) I think what’s important is that I am willing to be who I am now, and find that desirable, rather than clinging to my past visions of how I used to look. My girlfriend Heidi said the other day that the thing she minds about getting older is that we become invisible. She is sort of right. I may not have flocks of men crossing the bar to meet me, but I still get occasional catcalls when I cross the street. And now, as opposed to when I was younger, I don’t judge myself by how much attention I’m getting. What matters is how I feel about myself. Nor how much love am I getting, but how much am I capable of giving. The interesting thing is, the perception of others is directly tied to how desirable and deserving I feel.
So, I’ve taken back the title of hot chick. There’s more than enough room on the podium. Old, young, size two to size 22 and beyond, we are all sexy to someone. Best place to start is be sexy to yourself! And if you are a woman who feels she has lost her mojo (or never found it), I invite you to join me on January 31 to February 2, 2014, at The Desire Course for Women. This is an opportunity to reconnect to your heart, your self-esteem, and your desires. What will gratify you in this new year? What do you want the next phase of your life to be about? How can you celebrate yourself and your life?
Three pay plan now available. Learn more and Register here.