As many of you who have been reading regularly know, 2013 was a big year of change and growth for me. I found new focus in my mission and vision as a Sensuality Coach, and did a major rebranding of my website. I began sending out a regular newsletter, developed a new way to screen potential clients (the Gratified Life Appraisal), and programs to transform lives (The Desire Course and my Lighting the Fire Coaching Programs). I took on a spectacular business coach, Christine Kane, to help me uplevel my business and my life. I moved, to Asheville, separated from/redefined my relationship with my husband, and helped my older daughter move to New York. And all along the way, it has been fun, and exciting. A pleasure. And even with all the growth there is to celebrate, things have still been moving slower than I wanted, particularly in the area of income generation. And what was my answer to that? Do more. Have more fun, schedule more speaking dates, work harder on my self. Do, do, do.
Then in the beginning of December, I started getting messages to slow down. I participated in a weekend workshop called The Alchemy of Transformation, and was given the angels of authenticity, clarity, and patience. I started a practice every day of beginning my morning with meditation and journaling. More importantly, I stopped a bad habit of reading e-mails on my phone before even getting out of bed! I stopped reading e-mails throughout the day, and started scheduling points during the day in which to read them. And still in meditation, I was getting the message to stop doing so much. I didn’t really listen. The voices in my head were telling me that I am responsible for everything. That waiting for things to happen is a mark of laziness, and lack of deserving, and therefore BAD things will happen. So I stopped working so much, and started focusing on self-care. I committed to flossing my teeth every day, and moisturizing my face every night. I remembered to take my vitamins, drink more water and eat healthier. See, I was still working, only I justified it because I was doing stuff that was self-nurturing.
And then what happened? I returned from my holiday visit to NY and got the flu. And then my back went out. I was asking in my meditation what I needed to do next to be more effective, and the answer I got again was JUST STOP. Tuesday, was the final straw, the piece de resistance. While out doing an unimportant errand, I accidentally landed my car in a ditch. Don’t worry, I’m unhurt. I spent the afternoon sitting at Marc’s house (it was closer to where I got stranded) trying to do work on his tablet. Every website I went to either didn’t recognize my password, or was having trouble loading. I threw up my hands in disgust, and spent the afternoon staring at the ceiling, trying not to worry. And then came the last straw, the message too loud to ignore. After waiting six hours for the non-appearance of AAA, I accepted the offer of a good Samaritan to tow me out of the ditch with his tractor. During this procedure, I failed to step on the brakes fast enough, and the momentum rammed my car into the plow. The men say they were yelling stop, and I didn’t hear a thing. The original accident left minimal or no damage, failing to hit the brakes had collapsed my trunk.
Just Stop. I’m listening now. I don’t know exactly what stop will look like, or how long it will last. For now, I am postponing The Desire Course until February. My co-teacher Patsy Seay Dollar and I have cancelled the February Embodied Sex and Spirit workshop indefinitely, The Pleasure Salon that was scheduled to start this month at VaVaVooom is similarly postponed. It may start in February, or March, or not at all. I’m waiting for the authentic desire to rise up in me for what’s next. I am in a position of receiving, rather than making things happen, which is simultaneously exciting and terrifying.
Some things will continue. The next two weeks, I have great guests on The Ask Me Anything Love and Sex show, so I hope you will tune in. Dr. Anna Garrett and I will be talking about hormones and your mojo on January 14th, and Patti Taylor will join me on January 21st to discuss her newly updated book Expanded Orgasm. I’m going to continue working with the clients I have as that is way to much fun to let go of, as is my weekly mah jong game. I will still be accepting new one on one clients, only instead of fishing for them, I’m going to let the bees get a whiff of my pollen and come to me! If you want a more gratified life and are ready to do something to make your desires reality, (you know who you are) call me at 828-348-4925. This newsletter might come out next week, or the week after. Stop might last three days or three weeks. In my experience, what you resist persists. Giving in totally will probably help me move through this stage faster. Are you in a similar place? Be comforted that you are not alone. Lots of my friends are reporting major life and attitude shifts. Let us hear from you how you are growing and shifting, stopping, or starting.
Loving you from here,
Rebekah Darcy Beneteau