The Journey Begins

Hello! It is my absolute pleasure (pun intended) to introduce myself as the newest member of the Pleasure Evolution team. My name is Ginger, and I’m incredibly excited to talk, write, and vibe with you all about kink, intimacy, and sexuality.

I was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York by my liberal Jewish parents. My mother, a flower-wearing, free-loving, drug-taking hippie, gave me miles of room to explore and understand my own sexuality. Even so, I knew from before I was ten that my desires were both unusual and powerful. And by the age that many girls are touching themselves for the first time, I was learning (largely with the help of fanfiction) about the many forms of power exchange experienced within BDSM.

It was, all things considered, a lonely and frightening time.

For anyone who has confronted their own non-normative sexual urges as a teenager, the feeling of being freakish, perverted, even sick, is a difficult sensation to shake. I was scared of myself and what I was capable of; of the dark desires that plagued me; of how it might impact the person I’d become. I felt alone and isolated, my peers often designating me as a “weirdo” and “freak”. When I was molested at the age of 15, it seemed that I must have asked for it, wanted it in some way; that submissives must be predisposed to being taken advantage of.

Guess what? I was wrong.

Embracing Kink

It took years of work and focus, intention and interrogation, but I learned to excise my shame like the poison it was. I discovered the monumental importance of consent and negotiation in regards to power exchange. In so doing, I found that kink could be simultaneously dirty and wholesome, degrading and uplifting; that there was a steadfast strength in submission; that I might find courage and wisdom within it.

Fast forward to 2015. I’d graduated college, returned to NYC, and immediately immersed myself in local Scene culture. Which was when, one fateful day, I attended a Pleasure Evolution play party and met Rebekah. For a time I helped host some NYC parties and Being Socials, and the lessons on authenticity and communication I learned inspire me to this day.

I am currently halfway through a Masters program in Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University. I’ve been studying sexuality long before school — my bookshelves are filled with all sorts of academic and autobiographical texts on transmisogyny, sex work, queer history, etc. — but I know now more than ever that the path to sexual enlightenment has no destination. There is always more to learn.

In any case, Watch This Space! I’ll be posting more soon about my experiences with bisexual erasure, BDSM negotiation tactics, and so much more. I hope you are having a lovely, safe summer and taking good care of yourselves in these strenuous times.

Fondly,

-Ginger Z