No One Can Be Our Everything

Last week on “In Bed with Rebekah” Polyamory spokesperson Leon Feingold came on to share his wisdom on non-monogamy, MENSA, and escalators. Leon has appeared in a number of talk shows and articles, as well as a 2015 TED Talk, singing the praises of polyamory as a fulfilling lifestyle choice.

In this special, Rebekah and Leon get right down to business, honing in on the core precept of polyamorous philosophy: That no one partner can meet our every need and want, which is why we benefit so much from being able to explore and lean on multiple relationships.

They stress the importance of all relationships as being a core foundation for inner happiness and fulfillment. “Most people value the partners they mingle their genitals with more than with other partners.” Do our friends and close confidantes deserve lesser status in our lives because we aren’t physically intimate with them? Are they not integral to the support systems and coping mechanisms we create for ourselves? And in the same vein, how is Polyamory all that different?

Leon also addresses an interesting perspective in this video, of Polyamory as an orientation, rather than just a relationship style. Some people may feel monogamy-averse their whole lives, and repress those desires because of cultural pressures. Alternatively, can’t sexual orientations shift and change as our lives, our partners, our experiences change over time? “Very few criteria by which we identify are in fact not changeable,” Leon says. In this light, he postulates that, at least for some people, being Poly is as much a sexual identity as one’s gender.

Leon and Rebekah spend a good chunk of this episode discussing the gritty details of difficult relationships and poly negotiations, and what they’ve learned along the way. Don’t miss it! Follow the link below, and make sure to check out our next In Bed with Rebekah, where I, Ginger Z, will make my Pleasure Evolution video debut. Looking forward to seeing you there!