Several astrologers have told me that being a sex coach is written in my stars. It’s my destiny, if you will. Something to do with the placement of my planets. But beyond those esoteric theories, the truth is that I was not always a priestess of pleasure. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I have found that often, the thing that we need to heal for our self becomes our greatest gift.

The Three Main Reasons Why I became a Sex and Relationship Coach

It has been a twisty-turny, yet inevitable, path. There are several main components of that path.

1. My temperament –  From a young age, I had an interest in and comfort with both sex and spirituality. Rumor has it that I was a toddler when I discovered the Playboy magazines in my Dad’s nightstand. When asked what I was doing, I reportedly said, “I like the tushies.”
2. My personal recovery – I was 8 years old when an adult man introduced me to his sexuality. The result was a separation from my own body, and a lack of joy in sexual expression that went on for many years. When I reclaimed this part of my life through therapy, workshops and spiritual search, I found my power.
3. A Calling from Spirit – While working on a client as an energy healer, she spontaneously had an orgasm. I recognized that the energy I was experiencing running through my body and into hers, was similar to what I felt when I had an orgasm. And I was filled with the knowing that our arousal is the body’s joy at feeling itself. Not only that, it represents our life force. When we confine, neglect, or negate the connection to our body and our eroticism, we have less access to our power. When we own our pleasure and embody it fully, we have more health, ease and power in all areas of our lives.

My Teens and Twenties

Coming of Age in the 70s

Thanks to my premature introduction to sexual behavior before I had any context for it, or the skills to integrate that powerful energy being awakened, I mostly operated as if sex was my job. I was very precocious sexually, reading books I found on the shelves at babysitting jobs. It was the seventies, and those books were spicy. It was the era of women’s lib and the pill, and key parties. But the belief I had was that I was there for other people’s pleasure. I was supposed to be good in bed. I had not much sense of my own pleasure. In fact, I was usually drunk, or disassociated during intimacy. I drank a lot, and used other drugs.

The Wake-up Call

Fast forward to my thirties. I have given up drinking and drugs. I am now in training at a four-year school for energy healers, the Barbara Brennan School. An awakening came one night, as my first husband was enthusiastically going at it on top of me, and I was lying there numb. I was in my early thirties, lying underneath my handsome husband wondering, “Are you done yet?” That was the moment I realized that I was too young to be missing out on this important part of life. Sex was not fun, and I was checked out mentally and emotionally during it. Where had the joy gone? I committed to making my pleasure and sex life my number one priority. I discovered Lafayette Morehouse  and their research into expanding sexual potential through female orgasm. These are the folks that invented the One Hour Orgasm! A lot of other teachers got their start there, like Nicole Daedone and Mama Gena.

In 2013, I trained as a Sacred Intimate under tantra teachers affiliated with Shalom Mountain and Rudy Ballantine. In 2014, I received Femme Domme training from Midori. And all this time, I continued to work on myself, and the obstacles and limiting beliefs that I had to experiencing self-love, the love of another, and GREAT SEX.

The Professional Sex Coach is Born

After 13 years of trying to get a a full-time energy healing practice off the ground, one of my friends said, “I would totally pay you for sex and relationship advice.” And so I stepped into my gift of being 1) knowledgeable of sensual and relational possibilities beyond the standard and 2) non-judmental about other people’s sexual choices. Almost immediately, I was combining my skills with energy healing with talk-based coaching. Eventually, I added in hands-on work, classes and other events.

The Results

I have taken the journey i am inviting you into. And what an awesome trip it’s been. As I have given myself permission to embrace and embody my Sexual Authenticity, I have had these results:

• I love my body exactly as it is
• I am free from shame and inhibition
• The opinions and judgments of others no longer enslave me
• I know what turns me on, and I can ask for what I desire from a partner
• I have had wonderful relationships with men and women
• I walk away from situations and people that no longer serve me
• I have trained myself to have better orgasms, and from a greater variety of things than I would have thought possible.
• I have learned how to Say Yes to Pleasure and make that my standard for life.
• I have learned how to talk to men in a way that they can hear.

I had to reconnect to my own pleasure, and in so doing, I found my purpose. Those early experiences were necessary to create the woman I’ve become and I don’t regret them. I have the best job ever, empowering people to choose for them beyond the conditioning they were given in this vital part of life.