Lockdown Got You Down?

As many places are still experiencing limitations on in-person gatherings, most of our events are virtual*. However you may be feeling shy or afraid of confidentiality. Maybe you don’t know how to use zoom. The first time you attend a sensual virtual event might be intimidating.

Sensual Zooming Tips

I wanted to give you some pointers on attending intimate online events, like the Kinky Cafe, our bi-monthly mixer/virtual play party.
  1. You can download the zoom app for free on your phone or computer. Intimate events often require seeing your face, for community building, and guaranteeing everyone’s safety. Most laptops have a built in webcam, if not or for a desktop, you can pick up one with a usb connection on Amazon, for as little as $20.
  2. When you are logging into a meeting, it’s easiest to use the direct link given you, but you can also use a meeting ID, just make sure you have the password. This is how organizers keep the meeting safe. Only people with the password can get in, and only people who pre-register have the password. Many of us also use a waiting room, to screen who is coming in, and to prevent people from coming too late.
  3. You can rename yourself as soon as you enter, by clicking on the three dots at the top of your picture. Alternately, you can click on participants, then your name, and more to rename yourself. If you have a concern, use any name you wish, or just your first name.
  4. If you are really concerned about people recognizing you, perhaps wear a masquerade mask. This way, your eyes and lower half of your face show, but you are not completely exposed.
  5. Always follow your own awareness of how much or little to reveal or participate. No is a complete sentence, and you should never feel obligated to “keep up with the crowd.”
  6. Leave your projections and expectations at the door. What actually shows up can be more heartfelt and true than your fantasies.
  7. At  a clothing optional event, some people will be fully clothed while others are naked. We started making Being Socials nudist welcoming, and they attract people with all different comfort levels.

Many people have told me that online intimate events actually give them more permission, because they don’t feel frightened of being touched and having to set boundaries, as might happen at an in-person event. Just being in a sex positive environment can be liberating and empowering. Remember that all of life is an experiment, and congratulate yourself for trying something new.

What actually happens at an event?

Being Socials are gatherings of all conversation, where we play two authentic relating games. The crowd is always open minded, open hearted, and we create surprising emotional closeness and community. At the Kinky Cafe, we have full group introductions, followed by break out rooms on a topic, and after connection is created we follow the appetite of the the crowd. We have had everything from a BDSM demo to erotic reading, a guided tantric self-pleasure meditation to group S/m play. What will happen at the next one? It’s anyone’s guess.

To register for the next Kinky Cafe or Being Social visit our calendar
* one on one sessions, and Access Bars classes in Tampa are in person