The Two Master Games
Victor Baranco, PhD, founder of Lafayette Morehouse, supposedly said that there are two master games. Man – Woman and Man – God. The funny thing is that the two games are similar, in that both involve dynamics of action and surrender. In both, you have to be willing to identify your needs and take responsibility for getting those needs met. And in both games, you must learn to practice acceptance of self and other. You can choose either game. For 16 years in two marriages, I was devoted to man-woman, and I’ll write about that next time. Right now I’m playing Woman- God in a big way, practicing surrender to what is, and committed to walking the path of faith in the face of challenges.
Defining the Divine
How is a relationship to the Divine, however you define it, is related to your authentic sexual expression? Lets get a few terms defined from the git-go. I use the words God and Divine Source interchangeably. If these words trigger negativity in you, substitute your own. Higher Power, Goddess or Zeus work just as well. If you’re completely atheistic then Dear Random Universe (DRU) might be a good substitute. It doesn’t matter what you call it, as long as you know it’s not you. It’s something bigger. It is the energy that creates WHAT IS.
Different Levels of Awareness
Term #2 – WHAT IS. This has as many layers as a good Napoleon. Any object or situation that is, has different definitions on multiple levels of awareness. Right now, you’re looking at a computer. A solid object. On another level, it’s nothing more than a whirling mass of electrons. On yet another level, it’s a wave of light energy. The situations that occur, on the physical level, there is the fact that so and so did such and such. On another level, we give these situations meaning, and then make up our minds how we “feel” about the situation, based on it’s relationship to our goals. But here is where the Man — God game comes into play. What if there is another level, one that we don’t know about? A subconscious operating system that attracts certain people and situations to us, not as a test, but had the most efficient means of getting us to our goal? And not only our goals, but our unique destiny. If What Is has many levels, our interpretation of anything is merely based on what level we are looking at. In The Course in Miracles, there is a meditation that sums this up. “This blank has only the meaning I give it.” I admit it, I am a huge Pollyanna. I always think everything that happens is happening for a good reason. This thought comforts me in times of challenge. This is surrender. In the face of WHAT IS, we can fight it, we can resent it, or we can accept it. When we accept it, we can then respond to it. When we resist, we live in the energy of struggle, which is not sexy, not fun, not joyful, and NOT productive.
Still waiting to hear about sex? There is an old Jewish proverb, “it is only by following our desires, that we learn that God desires us.” What do you desire? Can you ask for what you want, willing to accept what you get? We are all not only capable of great things, I believe we are obligated to actualize ourselves and fulfill our role on the grand stage. Again, we must surrender to what is, or better yet, Who We Are. If we were really created in God’s image like the bible says, then all of who we are must be sacred. Imagine all of the energy that is currently going into hiding, or controlling sexual appetites, or trying subconsciously to get sensual and relational needs met. What else could you be doing with all that life force? Claiming your sexual desires is an act of courage that opens the doorway to even greater declarations. (One proviso here, owning your sexual desires does not mean that you should act on them. Always be safe, sane, consensual, and Do No Harm. Once you accept the truth of who you are in the sexual arena, it becomes easier to claim it in other parts of your life. The truth of your passions, your gifts and the areas where you need support, all will rise to awareness. You will get a clearer picture of what you really want to do in this world, your unique purpose. As Frederich Buechner said, “The place God calls you to is the place where your great gladness meets the world’s deep need.”
Ahh, but the voices of cultural conditioning rear their ugly heads. Our sexuality is supposed to look a certain way in order to be pleasing to God. Maybe. In this case, I’v found it helpful to deeply examine my description of Divine Source. The Belief in a punishing judgmental God, is it true? How do I feel when I have the thought, that my sexuality is tainted, or wrong, or dirty? Is it possible it’s not true? Is it possible that the opposite is true?* Can I redefine my own Higher Power to be all-powerful, all-loving? I don’t want to get into theological arguments here, I’m merely offering alternative viewpoints for your consideration. And if you want to read a minister’s take on why sexuality is God-given, I highly recommend the articles and videos of my friend Rev Bev.
Recapping the Big Picture
To summarize my thoughts for you to ponder:
- You are here on the planet with the perfect skills and situations to fulfill a unique destiny.
- The plan for the fulfillment of this Destiny is a subconscious code in your programming dictated by some Divine Source
- You can access the code by expressing your Authentic Sexuality, thus freeing up more of your life force
- You will feel more connected to The Divine as you surrender to what is, and give up the striving for how you think things should be.
- You can get there other ways too, but this one is the most fun, and leads to next weeks article – The Man-Woman Game, Not for the Faint of Heart.
* Tip of the hat to The Work by Byron Katie