What do we want?
One of the most common goals that our clients have is “to be able to communicate my desires to my partner.” Helping people find their voice is something we are passionate about. Why? Because we’ve been there. We both were in long-term relationships where we found it hard to ask for what we wanted, and even when we did, we often didn’t get it.
Why don’t we ask for what we want?
This could be a whole article in itself. To bottom line is, there are lots of reasons why it’s hard to ask for what we want, such as:
- We don’t know what we want
- It feels vulnerable
- We want our partner to read our minds
- We don’t feel we deserve to have it
- We don’t know how to do it in a way that is neither nagging nor begging
I’m just going to address number 5 today, the How.
How Can We Ask for What We Want. . . and Get It?
For this example, we are going to assume that you know What you want and are willing to risk being vulnerable and and Ask. Because let’s face it, expecting your partner to read your mind is a recipe for disappointment. I encourage you to let go of any story you have that if your partner “really” loved you, then they would be paying such close attention that they would always know. If you want a mind reader, go to a show on the Las Vegas strip. Let’s also assume that even though you might not be sure you deserve it, you are willing to take my word for it. YOU DO.
There is a simple three step system that you can follow to communicate with anyone to teach them what you need. This is a very nice thing to do. When you give someone the tools to please you, you are doing them a huge favor. You are setting them up for success.
The three simple steps can be found in my article HERE
And if you want a chance to learn this more deeply, as well as the sexual technique of Pleasure Hands, check out our course Pillowtalk. We practice the POP cycle, Pleasurable Touch and more in the Pillowtalk workshops.