Posts Tagged ‘monogamy’

Poly or Mono?

People ask us whether we push the “poly agenda” or the “mono agenda”

The answer is neither.

We firmly believe that your relationship should be a conscious series of decisions rather than defaulting to the majority. People are very individualistic and we think that sexuality and relationships are equally unique.

So ask yourself and your partner what kind of relationship works for you. Ask a LOT of questions and don’t assume anything is understood without inquiry.

Perhaps you and your partner want a monogamous relationship with occasional sexual forays done together or separately. This is sometimes called being “monogamish”. Maybe you enjoy going to sex parties or swinging, but have no intention of forming outside relationships. Polyamory implies that you will have multiple relationships with various degrees of love and commitment.

Thriving relationships require good communication. Polyamory will multiply that need by the amount of partners involved. Both relationship styles will bring up issues, but different ones. An monogamous relationship can bring up issues around boredom, and restriction. A non-monogamous union can trigger feelings due to time limitations, and equality. Jealousy comes up in all relationships, but will be more provocative when there are more lovers in the mix. Poly is definitely not an easier way to get sex. Poly takes effort and vigilance. That is not to say that monogamy doesn’t, simply that polyamory brings the subjects up more often.

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