By Rebekah Beneteau
I have many girlfriends who wish they were in relationships. Perhaps you feel the same. And why not? Even in this day and age when women can earn their own money, and the stigma of the moniker Old Maid has disappeared, women want to be in relationship. We are hard wired for this job, by evolution. It’s in our DNA to want a man and a baby. Unfortunately, sometimes you end up with a man who is a baby, but that’s a whole other topic! Of all shapes, sizes and levels of education, women lament the lack of “good single guys.” Really? The world is awash with good single guys if you are ready to meet one. Today, I am going to give you some tips to prepare yourself and find connecting with a nice guy a snap.
1. A man can only love you as much as you love yourself. This is the most important tip. If you think you are too fat, skinny, old, young “fill in the blank” to get a man, you will be. My grandmother always used to say, “every pot has a lid.” To find your lid, you have to consider yourself a perfect pot, just the way you are. Think about this, every body type has in some era or some place in the world been the most desirable. For instance, I am too skinny to be marriageable in Samoa! Get me on a plane and pass me the haagen dazs.
2. A man can only treat you as well as you treat yourself. Be your own boyfriend, take yourself out to dinner, buy yourself flowers. Look in the mirror and give yourself compliments. Fill yourself up with what you hope to get out of a relationship. This way you are coming from a content place, not a needy place.
3. When going someplace where you will meet men, put your best foot forward. I’m not sure why all colognes for women smell like flowers. If you want to catch a guy, your best scents would be fragrance of new car seats and eau de pepperoni pizza. Perhaps just dab a few drops of heineken behind each ear. Since no one is making these scents yet, dress with confidence in clothes that make you feel desirable. When you get to the bar or mixer, try going into the ladies room and taking off your panties. You heard me right. This will make you feel daring, and give you a secret. This aura of boldness and mystery will have men drawn to you. Be careful where you put the undies however. Going to pay for a drink and accidentally tossing your thong on the bar may get you more male attention than you can handle.
4. Let’s say you have spotted someone you would like to talk to. How do you get him to approach? Let’s talk about heat for a minute. In the animal kingdom, the male of the species is not interested in the female at all, until she goes into heat. Although we have big brains, and have evolved beyond this, we are still mammals. So how do you simulate heat? Think nice thoughts about the man. Look at him with approval. Try this as an experiment, watch a stranger for a while and they will turn around not knowing why. If you are feeling very daring, imagine undressing your target. This can also be useful when the waiter is ignoring you, imagine him naked and see how quickly he appears at your table. Think a few r-rated thoughts and you may even get a free cup of coffee.
5. Your man has come over, you are in conversation. Don’t talk about your exes, your lousy job, the leaky plumbing. Do talk about the things in your life that work well, that bring you joy.
Shortly after my divorce, I was in a relationship workshop and I was, well, I was whining. I thought no one would want a 40 year old woman with no job and two children. The leader said, “what makes you attractive is looking like you can be gratified. What makes you beautiful is being gratified already.” Which brings us back to Step 1 and Step 2. Treat yourself well. Do what makes you happy. Fall in love with yourself and make your life a party. Pretty soon some smart guy is going to come along and want to be a part of that good time. And the best part is, you’ll be having so much fun, you won’t mind the wait.
Copyright © 2014 Rebekah Beneteau. All rights reserved.
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