How to Open Again to Love

Are you feeling like a failure at relationships?

When my marriage to my first husband ended after ten years together, I definitely felt like I had failed at relationships. In fact, I thought my romantic life had come to an end. I was almost forty years old, impoverished, and raising two small children mostly alone. Who would ever want me as a partner? Cindy Baranco, the leader of Lafayette Morehouse, said to me in a course, “What makes a woman attractive is looking like she can be gratified. What makes her beautiful is being gratified already.”

So I stopped whining and trying to sell my loser story (no one in my community was buying it anyway). I went about making my life as gratifying as it could be. I took a lot of classes, and got to know my turn-ons and my orgasms better. Eighteen months later, I met Marc, who would become husband number two. Obviously, none of the excuses I had made up about why I was unlovable were real. I showed him my authentic self, neuroses and all, and he wanted to be with me. Mostly, he loved my mind, and my passion for exploring the interplay of masculine and feminine. Almost ten years later, he and I split up. Yes, ten years seemed to be my expiration date on relationships.

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