At Being Socials, one of the most frequently asked questions is “How did you and Trevor get together? The short answer is, he was seeing a couple of my friends, and I was dating one of his. Sensing a kindred spirit (read Intellectual Sex Geek/Sensual Athlete) I invited him to become sensual research partners with me. I told him I had a couple of goals, 1) to expand my orgasmic capacity, and 2) to connect to God through sex. I explained that it did not require us being in a romantic relationship. Brave soul, he immediately agreed, and I was in the giver role that first time. The next time, I began training him how to “DO” me. And the rest, as they say, is history. My life and my business have become radically transformed from that one invitation. Several dates later we became co-teachers and coaching partners, then Fetlife official as “in an open relationship.” (and we still have research dates, more on that later).
I first heard of sensual research dates when I attended a weekend workshop called Basic Sensuality, taught by Jack, Ilana and Kassy of Lafayette Morehouse.
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Whether you are a fan, or not, an aficionado or just starting out, here are our thoughts, on a common practice in the intimacy smorgasbord. . . PLEASING YOUR WOMAN ORALLY.
I love eating pussy. I would say it’s one of my favorite sex acts, in fact it rivals penile penetration. I have this rule in my head. I’m not going to stick my cock anywhere I’m not comfortable putting my face. I’m constantly amazed when I’m told by women that there are men out there that don’t “do that.” The way I perceive it, I like oral sex on myself, so it’s only fair if I return the favor. But, fact of the matter is, I really enjoy it. I like the tastes, the textures, the feel of it; every bit of a woman’s emotional state can be felt when you have your face buried between her legs.
Ladies, when I take your flesh into my mouth, I can feel your heartbeat. I can tell when it quickens because I’ve done something to you. I like the texture of the lips as they slide in and out of my mouth. I can feel the wetness increase when I’ve caused pleasure and the sounds that escape a woman’s throat…
Pleasure Evolution produces many social events, including Sensuality Circles and Play Parties. For a description of a Play Party, check out our previous article HERE. Whenever a sensual or sexual event is announced, we are often asked “What is the gender balance?”.
A majority of the time this question is asked by heterosexual men, and occasionally by women. Almost unanimously, this isn’t the real question they want answered. What women really want to know is “Will I be safe? Will I be expected to play or interact with people I don’t want to?” Why do the men ask this question? They are trying to guess their chances at getting what they want, which is attention from women, particularly sexual attention from women. It all boils down to the real question. . .
There has long been a prejudice in the media that young is hotter. Young bodies, and youthful faces grace all our advertising. The truth is, hot is a matter of opinion. Sex at every age has it’s advantages. As Woody Allen once said, “I never met an orgasm I didn’t like.”
This is the time when you usually have gravity, stamina and a lack of physical encumbrances on your side. Your teenaged awkwardness has subsided. You don’t have kids yet, or a mortgage to worry about. Unfortunately, you are also still learning about how to meet the opposite sex, and how to communicate. Men in their twenties are driven by LET’S GET IT ON testosterone, while women of that age group are more motivated by vasopressin,”the cuddle hormone.”
Trevor was recently quoted in a fun online article about why sex is better in your thirties than in your twenties. He mentioned that by your thirties, you have some skills and signature moves. You also have a better sense of what you like and you don’t, and hopefully, the voice to ask for what you want. Many people begin to settle into committed relationships in their thirties, and while parenting takes it’s toll, there is also something hot about making love to a person you know well. Read the whole article here.
I spent this weekend celebrating the summer Solstice on a beautiful property outside Asheville. To those that find their spirituality in connection to nature, the equinoxes and solstices have special significance. We gathered around a fire On Saturday night and invoked the directions, deities, angels and ancestors that had meaning for us. We celebrated the turning of the earth, and the warmth of the sun that nourishes our seeds (and our plans) so that we may harvest in the fall. The invitation now is to be active, outward bound and DOING, as opposed to the winter time of contemplation and patience. Now is the time to tend your garden.
So why is this post called permission to be naked?
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