Whenever someone asks us if we are pushing the sexual envelope too much I remind them of how far we’ve come already and accomplished in our society. Here is a little reminder of one of the pioneers that helped change the way we see sex in today’s world.
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Last Friday, we had lovely Being Social. I am always so touched to witness how a group of strangers walk in nervous and unsure, and by the end of the evening they are sharing things that not even their oldest friends know. It’s because we create safety. The structure of the games makes it easier to relax. They are adaptions of a creation of Lafayette Morehouse called a Mark Group, which in turn utilized exercises supposedly from Dianetics. The context is a concept from Shalom Mountain, “Love is an Intention.” In a fun way, we practice the skills of being Loving, and we feel more love. One of the things that is the most fun to watch is seeing how people flower under positive regard. When a woman is shown genuine interest and attention, her smile lights up the room. A man asked questions about his purpose in the world sits up a little straighter.
Tomorrow is the end of our first Northeast tour for Pleasure Evolution. We had been to Philadelphia a few months ago and had a really successful couple of events. Sooo, now we squeezed 5 events into 12 days in New York and Philadelphia. Two Being Socials, taught a class, and facilitated two tantra circles with play parties. In between, we saw friends, Rebekah’s family, and saw private clients.
It was a year ago today that I had my first date with Trevor. It was not your typical dinner and a movie or tea at Dobra kind of date, and knowing us, you wouldn’t have expected it to be. We had been friends for a little under two months, and on September 23, 2014, he came to my house for a Sensual Research Date. The rest, as they say, is history.
It has been an extraordinary ride so far. Prior to this relationship, I had been monogamous, or monogamish. Trevor already had 4 lovers at that time. At some point, I decided that I was going to go “all in,” despite my fears and
Photo courtesy of Sam Conviser
vulnerability. At times, I have wondered what the hell I was thinking, and yet I have never regretted my choice. At the risk of making you all fall in love with him too, Trevor Jones has a huge heart, a deep loyalty and a desire to serve others. And our sexual chemistry is off the charts. He makes me laugh. He laughs at my jokes. He carries my stuff. He always says those three important little words that my feminine longs to hear from the masculine, “I Got This.” We often say that I am Shakti, the river, running wild and juicy, creating, nurturing, destroying if left unchanneled. He is Shiva, the banks of the river,the one who finds the how for my what, and sets the limits that keep me from flooding the fields, making me instead productive and focused.
Why would someone hire an intimacy coach?
On Sept 12th, the Embodied Sensuality Playshop and Authentic Sexuality Play Party was one of the most gratifying and thankful groups we’ve had yet. Part of the wonderful magic that happens at Play Parties is the forming of tribe or community. We shared a heart space that cannot be easily described, but once felt, could not be denied. During our last party, two equipment malfunctions entertained us. Both a bed and a massage table collapsed. No one was hurt, but there was no denying the energy of the evening was “off the hook.”
We strive to create a container of safety and enjoyment for all. Emotions ran high, as people were witness to lifestyles that were not their own. As one lover put it, “…my bubble was expanded, but not broken.” We encourage all who attend to Treat Life like an Experiment. All your experiences are data to be collected so you can better live your life. We encourage people to follow their desires, free of shame and judgement. Some came with the intent to play with others; some came to watch, some to find out what all the excitement was about. Too often I am asked, “What’s the gender balance?” “how straight or gay is the party?” or “what are my chances?” This is the wrong mindset for our kind of party. I recommend coming with no intention other than to connect to other people, and perhaps to learn some skills for being more intimate with your fellow humans.
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