Being a Man

No one told me how to be a Man

In this use of the word, Man, I’m not talking about simply growing up be-a-manand adulting, though that is part of it. In this case, I’m talking about what it means to be a Man in this world, as opposed to what society told me I shouldn’t be. I was born in ’73 and so was right in the middle of the ’80s when puberty set in and had it’s way with me. That was the decade of Pop Music, hair bands, and of course AIDS. I grew up in the South (southern USA) and the long hair trend of pop culture for men was directly against the norms for the heterosexual mainstream I was surrounded by. Those around me were vocal about what wasn’t considered manly, but I was never told how to be a man.

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I’m Trevor Jones, and I am a Sex Coach

I came, I saw, I was in awe

It was in the Fall of 2014 that I first began attending events facilitated thinkerby
Pleasure Evolution. I was struck by the vast difference between traditional social events and the structured methods taught at the workshop I attended.  I was also taken with the confidence and charisma of it’s founder Rebekah Beneteau. It didn’t take long before I was volunteering to help and then was invited to chair an event. The themes of sex positivity and living an authentic life spoke volumes to me. I was not only intrigued but delighted about the prospect of working with Pleasure Evolution.

My educational background was primarily in Philosophy, but humanity had always fascinated me. I was in constant awe at the similarities and differences we all had and how they were expressed. I became ordained as a non-denominational minister the summer after university and made my spiritual growth a priority. I believe that one can learn from life as well as books and so make a practice of doing both. By the time I joined Pleasure Evolution,

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Your Pleasure is Our Pleasure

We made this video last week for our Youtube channel PleasureEvolutionTV, to share some thoughts on how to have a great sex-life whether you have a partner or not.

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When You’re Still in Love with That Guy (or Gal)

Letting Go

I bet you were thinking, “this is going to be a post about letting go of a past lover.” It’s not. It’s my ruminations about what happens as relationships evolve. When we meet someone, we fall in love with who they are and how we feel when we are with them. It’s delicious, delirious fun. And if you are anything like me, you think the bliss will go on forever. Or at least you hope it does. Isn’t that what the stories promise, happily ever after?

And then somebody or some thing changes. If  you are polyamorous, it
could be the emergence of a new lover, with all the new relationship energy (NRE) that comes from that.
It could be a change in the state of one of the existing relationships. Many things affect both poly and monogamous relationships. Aging, stress, health issues, family or job responsibilities. Maybe your partner develops a new passion for a hobby, or religion, or kink. And you find yourself wondering where the person you originally fell in love with went.

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Get off the Wall

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We all know what a wall flower is right?

Wikipedia, that great repository of knowledge, describes it:

“A wallflower is someone with an introverted personality type, but who still seeks out and partakes in social events on a fairly regular basis. They are often socially competent enough to be liked and to attend group gatherings, but may choose or feel the need to blend in and remain silent.”

The term originally was used almost 200 years ago referring to women that stood against the wall during a dance. In today’s world it has come to refer to anyone that attends a social gathering but doesn’t seem to mingle, instead remaining solitary with only minimal interaction. I’ve been there. Few people that know me today can imagine that I was as shy and awkward as I describe myself.  I had planned once to attend a local social group that met monthly at a restaurant.  Over the course of six months I found myself outside the restaurant trying to work up the courage to go in.  A few times I made it right up to the doors, looking in, yearning to be part of something and fearing to make that last few steps.

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Pleasure Evolution
Asheville, NC
(828) 348-4925


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