Surfing or Wiping Out?

Agreement is control.  Repeat after me, because this is one of the most important techniques for having a pleasurable life. It’s also one of the hardest to remember and practice, when life or your partner has delivered something you weren’t expecting. Agreement is control. Life is like the ocean; big, powerful and unpredictable. When you are surfing (not that I do, but this is how it seems to me) if the curl starts to break in a different direction, you can keep on your same trajectory and get dragged under, or you can adjust your position and enjoy the ride.

I was recently reminded of this when my husband threw me a curve ball.

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Bragging About my Husband and Helping Entrepreneurs Too

Here’s living proof that opposites attract. Some of you know that I have my own in–home help desk in the form of my tech geek husband, Marc.  His genius is researching website technology and creating easy to understand documentation and training materials for the rest of us.  He has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs make beautiful, websites, with all the bells and whistles they need to run their business. And he has helped dozens more increase their income as trained WP designers and vwo encyclopedia discirtual assistants.

His gift is helping tech neophytes understand WordPress, and assisting the more experienced in upgrading their skills. Yes, I’m proud of him! He is the author of WPEncyclopedia, the world’s most comprehensive, searchable WP Learning tool.

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Being Real Seals the Deal

Last night, I gave a presentation to my friend’s class at a community college. They were learning Public Speaking, and my talk was about the value of improving one’s speaking skills. One of the things that came out during my talk surprised me and it is relevant not only to giving a good speech, but having good relationships too.

Several people asked what to do when you’re nervous, or forget your lines.  And my answer was, tell the truth. Two things happen when we’re nervous.  First, we have the feeling, and then we spend a bunch of energy trying to suppress or hide the feeling.  Tpublic-speakinghis actually makes you more anxious, takes you out of flow. But if you are honest, name what’s going on with you; your audience gets the chance to connect with you as a person, you get to relax and stop covering up, and suddenly, you remember your words.

People “buy” from you, whether what you are selling is a product, or your information, because they like you.  And you want them to see the real you, just like  in a relationship.

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This week on Blog Talk Radio

peach3 This Thursday at 8:30 pm, I’ll be talking about Discovering Desire.  How do we cultivate our appetite? How do we build our self-esteem, and stop self-sabotaging behaviors?

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Mud-colored Glasses

Have you ever noticed how, sometimes, your partner does something to annoy or anger you?  And then, every little thing they do starts to annoy and anger you. So, you get on the phone with a friend and tell them all the ways your mate has failed you, and they agree that it is UNBELIEVABLE  what they did, and any sane or caring person would know better.  And pretty soon, you are in hate with your partner, and wonder what possessed you to marry them, what were you thinking? And now you are feeling bad about yourself, because you have crummy judgment when it comes to lovers and yada yada.

muddy fieldYikes! I’m calling this mud-colored glasses as opposed to rose-colored. When we are in this frame of mind, everything looks like sh*t. We’re on a downward spiral that best case scenario leads nowhere but pain, worst case scenario leads to the break-up of a relationship that most of the time sails along really nicely with lots of love and laughter in it.  So what happened?

What we focus on grows. By continuing to harp on what went wrong, we start noticing more of the same. By sharing with people who will validate our negativity, we go deeper down the road of victimhood. Blech.  Even writing this makes me feel slimy.

Here’s a few steps on how to get up and out of the mud.

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